The Desire For Happiness
Malizu Collins. malizuonyii@gmail.com 08138275786(SMS only)
There is one thing you cannot remove from your heart’s desire. One thing you can never shake; one thing that you will always want and seek. In fact, this one thing is one of the most fundamental and guiding desires of your life and has an effect upon everything you do! What is this “one thing?.” It’s the deep and unshakable desire for happiness written upon the very depth of your being!
You want to be happy! Period. You can’t shake that desire. Interestingly, even a life of the worst of sin is focused on the desire for happiness. Sure, when sin is chosen as a path to “happiness” there is confusion present. But nonetheless, even sin is done with a desire for happiness of some sort.
Take some examples: Why would someone use drugs? Because they have a false sense that this will make them happy. Or why does someone lose their temper and blow up in anger? Because they have a false sense that this venting of their anger will satisfy them. And, yes, in a twisted way it does temporarily satisfy. But the satisfaction with this and every sin is fleeting and ultimately leaves one less happy and more dissatisfied in life.
But the point here is the desire for happiness. It’s unshakable. No one can honestly say, “I truly want to be miserable!” Some people make themselves miserable but no one truly desires this. They just go about seeking happiness in the wrong way.
This desire for happiness is unshakable because it’s a desire written upon our very nature. It’s there and it’s not going away. By analogy, we can say “The sun is bright” or “water is wet.” “Brightness” and “wetness” are essential attributes of the sun and water. You cannot take them away. There is no such thing as a dull sun or dry water. Sure the sun may be covered with clouds or water may evaporate but this doesn’t change the very essence of what the sun or water is.
So it is with our human nature. An essential aspect of human nature is the desire for happiness. Humans want happiness and there is no way to remove this desire from your heart. It may get covered up through sin or confusion or depression or despair. But deep down, the desire remains as an essential and integral part of our nature. It makes up part of who you are.
Tapping into and understanding this reality is key to understanding who we are and what life is all about. If the desire for happiness is part of our human nature then the next obvious question deals with: “Fulfilling that Desire.”
So, if I come to a point where I agree that I desire happiness and that everything I do in life is, in some way, done with this desire as a directing principle, then the next question is quite obvious: “What is it that actually fulfills this desire and actually makes me happy?”
Good question. And perhaps intelligent minds will disagree on the answer to that. But a basic philosophical truth is that two things that contradict each other cannot both be true. For example, something cannot be both hot and cold at the same time, or black and white at the same time. Sure, one person may say their soup is hot while another may think the same soup is only warm. So there is a certain perspective involved. But ultimately the principle remains that two things that contradict each other cannot both be true.
The point is this – human nature is created and designed in such a way that there are in fact certain things that make us happy and certain things that make us miserable. And perhaps there are many things in between. But it’s just not logical or rational to say that if one thing makes me happy it will also make someone else miserable.
Now I know what you’re thinking. You may be thinking that, for example, your spouse loves to go shopping and you are miserable shopping. Or you love to watch football but your friend hates football. What we have to understand is that some things create a more superficial “happiness” and others produce a more substantial and essential happiness. So, yes, football may be “fun” for one person and not for another. Or shopping, knitting, swimming, etc., may make one person excited and not another. But when we speak of the desire for “happiness” we cannot just settle for this more superficial level of things that are only entertaining or fun. We are not speaking of hobbies, pastimes or preferences. Rather, when we speak of that deeply ingrained desire for happiness, we are speaking of a whole different category.
So what is this other category? It’s the category of love. For example, no one can truly say, “I hate to love and be loved.” Sure, they can say that and even believe it, but, in reality, no one can love to hate or hate to love. Love is what we are made for. It’s intertwined so deeply within us that it cannot be shaken. Deep down, we all love to love and to be loved.
The word “love” is a dangerous word to use here because in our culture it is so often misused and abused. Our concept of love has been skewed and distorted from its true divine meaning. So, the real answer is that the love that God designed and instituted is the ultimate source of our happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, we need to shed the cultural influences about what love is and try to arrive at the real meaning. What does God think about “love?” What is His definition? The answer to this question is the answer to our happiness.
Divinely designed love takes on many forms but always retains a true selflessness, sacrificial giving, freedom and totality. It can be found in the relationship of spouses, with children, among siblings, between friends and even with a stranger. In every relationship, love will take on a unique form but ultimately will mirror and share in the one love of God.
Ultimately it is love that draws us into a deeper relationship with God. Love of God is what we were made for. This is happiness! And this is fulfillment! This is the only way to fill that longing in our heart and the only way we will address the desire that we cannot shake love of God directly in our relationship with Him, and love of God by our giving and receiving love with those around us. When we understand this and begin to live it then we have begun to understand this unshakable part of who we are.
